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Experiencing rejection, especially when it happens repeatedly, is far from pleasant. An editor is declining your work, delivering a firm “Not interested.” As a writer, I am well acquainted with rejection. I commenced pitching articles five decades ago, upon college graduation. Since then, I have had several works rejected, along with book ideas and numerous essays. During the recent 20 years, specializing in op-eds, the rejections have only increased. Regularly, I receive a setback every few days—adding up to over 100 times a year. Overall, denials over my career number in the thousands. Today, I might as well have a master’s in rejection.

However, is this a self-pitying outburst? Not at all. Since, at last, at seven decades plus three, I have embraced rejection.

By What Means Did I Achieve It?

A bit of background: Now, just about each individual and their relatives has rejected me. I haven’t counted my acceptance statistics—doing so would be quite demoralizing.

As an illustration: recently, an editor rejected 20 articles one after another before saying yes to one. A few years ago, no fewer than 50 editors declined my manuscript before someone accepted it. A few years later, 25 representatives passed on a project. A particular editor requested that I submit articles less frequently.

My Phases of Setback

In my 20s, each denial stung. It felt like a personal affront. I believed my creation was being turned down, but who I am.

No sooner a manuscript was rejected, I would start the process of setback:

• First, shock. Why did this occur? How could they be blind to my talent?
• Next, denial. Surely it’s the incorrect submission? Perhaps it’s an mistake.
• Third, dismissal. What can any of you know? Who appointed you to hand down rulings on my labours? It’s nonsense and your publication stinks. I refuse this refusal.
• After that, anger at the rejecters, then frustration with me. Why do I subject myself to this? Am I a masochist?
• Subsequently, bargaining (preferably accompanied by optimism). How can I convince you to see me as a exceptional creator?
• Sixth, depression. I’m not talented. Additionally, I can never become successful.

So it went for decades.

Excellent Examples

Naturally, I was in fine company. Accounts of creators whose books was originally turned down are numerous. The author of Moby-Dick. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. James Joyce’s Dubliners. Vladimir Nabokov’s Lolita. Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Nearly each renowned author was originally turned down. Since they did succeed despite no’s, then perhaps I could, too. Michael Jordan was not selected for his school team. Many Presidents over the last 60 years had previously lost campaigns. The filmmaker claims that his script for Rocky and desire to star were rejected repeatedly. He said rejection as a wake-up call to rouse me and get going, not backing down,” he has said.

The Final Phase

Later, upon arriving at my senior age, I entered the seventh stage of setback. Acceptance. Today, I more clearly see the multiple factors why an editor says no. Firstly, an publisher may have just published a similar piece, or have something in the pipeline, or just be thinking about something along the same lines for another contributor.

Alternatively, more discouragingly, my pitch is not appealing. Or maybe the evaluator believes I lack the credentials or standing to be suitable. Or isn’t in the market for the work I am submitting. Or was too distracted and read my submission too quickly to recognize its quality.

Go ahead call it an realization. Anything can be rejected, and for whatever cause, and there is almost nothing you can do about it. Some rationales for denial are permanently not up to you.

Within Control

Additional reasons are under your control. Admittedly, my pitches and submissions may from time to time be flawed. They may be irrelevant and impact, or the point I am struggling to articulate is poorly presented. Or I’m being too similar. Maybe a part about my punctuation, notably dashes, was annoying.

The point is that, regardless of all my long career and setbacks, I have achieved recognized. I’ve written multiple works—my first when I was middle-aged, another, a memoir, at older—and over 1,000 articles. Those pieces have featured in newspapers big and little, in diverse platforms. My debut commentary was published in my twenties—and I have now written to that publication for five decades.

However, no major hits, no book signings at major stores, no features on popular shows, no Ted Talks, no book awards, no Pulitzers, no Nobel Prize, and no national honor. But I can more readily handle rejection at my age, because my, admittedly modest achievements have cushioned the stings of my many rejections. I can choose to be reflective about it all today.

Valuable Rejection

Rejection can be educational, but only if you heed what it’s trying to teach. Otherwise, you will probably just keep seeing denial incorrectly. What teachings have I learned?

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